Wouldn’t it be great to know when somebody is truly ready for a change?
There are three key things to look for before somebody will change. This knowledge has forever changed my outcomes in life. Especially when dealing with problematic relationships.
What do you do if you get burned? What happens when somebody makes a mistake? Do you jump in and suport, or it it time to let the person walk their own path?
Well, I have great news! There is a way! There is a way to predict the future about whether or not a person is on the path of changing things for the better.
There are three ways to predict if a person is going to change:
I call this the Triad of Recovery™.
1) They feel remorseful.
2) They openly and publicly admit to their mistake (without provocation or getting caught… and not as a one time occasion of admittance either).
3) They forsake their behavior.
A person needs ALL THREE to qualify for a real change. These are indicators and qualifiers that allow you to see with clarity… the condition of the heart and mind of an individual.
For example, when a person is desensitized to the level of not being remorseful, that is a red flag that they are not interested in changing. Their words may say “sorry” when caught, but their actions do not… and will not… change.
One person I know recently made some devastating decisions when he cheated on his wife. He doesn’t even have one of the three signs that he will change. That is a sure sign that he is not truly ready to give up his pleasures. For the time being, he will, with 100% predictability, return to his pleasures.
All hope is not lost though… because in these cases, sometimes the Universe will in due time, send some very painful spankings to help the person’s heart to be softened enough to desire a change. Good thing we have the mechanics of the Universe working for our good.
At the same time, the Universe will allow us to fall… in order to respect our unlimited potential. Our unlimited potential, I might add, and the possibility thereof, hinges upon our ability to choose. In other words, the Universe will allow us to choose for ourselves. Yet we cannot choose our individual consequences because they are a secondary by-products of our initial choices. And we do have a choice with those.
Those three qualifying principles above in the Triad of Recovery have saved me many times in life. They have helped me to know what type of person I am dealing with. It has allowed me to see into their heart and the intent thereof. Interestingly enough, they might not even be conscious of their readiness for change. Meaning they are fooling themselves in their half-hearted attempt to change. Yet with these three qualifying principles that make up the Triad of Recovery, I have been able to get out of the way when bigger problems are yet to come.
I hope this knowledge will help you to better identify where a person’s heart is at, even though it may sometimes be your own heart. I know that this knowledge will help penetrate through the midst of problems and excuses… to see things as they really are.
PS – by the way, this is also what I do to myself, to “measure up” and see what’s holding me back.